I started writing this to give everyone an update on Ellie- she went in today for her 3rd round of chemotherapy, chest x-rays, and an 8 hour serial blood draw. I was going to tell you guys how well she was doing. How we were enjoying the spring weather and excited for summer swimming. I was going to tell you about the new spring lambs we have and how seeing new life was such a joy. I was going to tell you how grateful I felt for Ellie’s recovery and how I needed to take a video of her running, because she runs identical now as she did with 4 legs. I was having fun writing another kind-of boring post because things were going smooth. But then the vet called.
Anyone going through this already knows what I’m going to say, probably. Ellie’s chest x-rays came back with signs of metastasis in her lungs. The original diagnosis was March 9th, and here we are after doing everything not even 3 months later and it’s already progressed, I’m just in utter disbelief. My one saving grace is she’s still at the vet so I can completely meltdown for a few hours.
I knew this was a possibility, all the vets I spoke with and everyone here it was very clear that the median survival rate was a year… That’s median, I’m not great at math, but I knew that means that some get more and some get less… I was prepared for less, I was not prepared for this much less. and I know it’s not over, I know when I go into the vet in a few hours the vet will go over all the options, but now the decisions are going to be more about what am I willing to have her suffer through. I’ve already made her suffer a lot and am already trying to not blame myself for not knowing the future- I would have never done it had I known we would already be facing this. I, like everyone here, thought I had more time. It’s ironic really, I just posted on the forum to someone else that “regardless of what happens you made the best decision you could with the information you had.” Rationally I know it’s good advice, but I want to go and tell my past self to shut up and leave me alone.
I have no answers, no ideas. All my original plans seem so stupid and naïve now. I’m going to go cry some more and hopefully be able to put on a smile for when I go pick-up Ellie. I’ll leave the video up of the lambs, I had put it in before *the call* and it seems cruel to not let you see it, sorry it’s not in better circumstances.
I am so sorry to hear that, I lived the same situation a year ago with my Millie and I know what you are going through…
I just want you know you’re not alone ❤️ I send to you and Ellie al my good vibes and prayers ❤️❤️
Disbelief….yeah to say the least. Completely shocked and stunned! This piece of crap disease is so brutal and cunning and savage all hate it so much!!!
I hear ya’ when it comes to forcing (and aceepting) good rational advice, but in cases like thos, your heart is covering any sense of balance or the thought of options.
And there are options! And no only that….and I ,ean this in all sincerity, it is not over, not by a long shot!!!
The fact thar Ellie IS doing so well, IS clinically free of any symptoms of those damn mets, IS a good sign that she still has a lot of fight in her!!!
I know you are gutted right now, but you will catch your breath and you will decide on a good path forwatd after speaking with her Onco. And I have no doubt when you pick up Ellie today and see her wagging tail and hapoy go lucky attitude you will step back I to your Warrior mode…..list like Ellie!
,any dogs get a lot of extended quality time, even after mets are found. KERRY was one of those dogs…..I believe it was as much as a year and that was with no chemo to begin with.
Ellie of course knows none of your concerns and she’s looking forward to a great summer with more swimming and enjoying the lambs.
We’re all cheering for our beloved Ellie and look forward to more videos and more pictures
(((((((((Hugs)))))))
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
I’m so sorry! It’s a gut punch and hurts so much to get that news. We always know it’s a possibility but we are still not prepared to hear it.
So I’m guessing by now your vets will have given you options. Update when you can and watch tomorrows Tripawds news for Whiskeys story on her metastasis treatment.
Lotsa love headed your way. And thank you for the adorable lamby video. What a blessing at a time like this.